by Rev. Tom Rutherford
"Bill" and "Lynette" attend the FMS support group meetings regularly each month. Their devastation took place 7 years ago. Their daughter "Carolyn" has a Ph.D. and is teaching at a University where she is doing well and receiving teaching honors. "It" began during counseling: After months of therapy -- she accused her father.
This family was very close. Carolyn had named one of her sons after her dad, Bill. When therapy had put its hooks into her memory, she legally changed her son's name so there would be no trace of the grandfather in their home. You could have cut Bill's heart out and it wouldn't have hurt as much.
Now, five years later, Carolyn is no longer in therapy. When the family first got together the daughter indicated that nothing was to be said about what had happened. That request has been honored. Things started moving in a positive direction and Carolyn started letting her children stay overnight with the grandparents.
Now, two years later, Carolyn and her parents are in regular contact, at least 3 or 4 times a week. On one "thank you" note from Carolyn, she wrote she was sorry she had hurt the parents and that she had not meant to.
At one point, the parents had thought they would never see her, or her children again. This turnabout is a miracle of answered prayer!
Nothing has ever been discussed, nor does the father expect it to be discussed. He feels she went through a "hell" of her own which was as bad as the one the parents went through. It was not her fault and what advantage would there be to have her relive those horrible experiences?
Actions speak louder than words. Carolyn has written several books. She sent a copy of one of those books to Bill. A book mark was inserted at the page which had the dedication. It reads, "Dedication to.......... and my dad." Then she handwrote on the page, "Thank you for your endless patience and love. I'm so glad you're my dad. Love Carolyn, 2/99."
Bill says, "I am so very proud of her, why is discussion necessary, when she expresses such love and respect?"